


What the Fuck, Kobra?!

by SilverSwordtheKilljoy



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), My Chemical Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22824349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverSwordtheKilljoy/pseuds/SilverSwordtheKilljoy
Summary: A fic about Kobra Kid being dumb. Contains violence (not graphic) and language.
Kudos: 8





	What the Fuck, Kobra?!




* * *

“He did WHAT?!”

“You heard me.”

“But why?!” Ghoul shrugs.

“Ask him yourself.”

“I fuckin will!” Party Poison stalked off toward the diner, fuming.

He burst through the door, eyes landing on his brother playing cards with the Girl. As he storms towards them, he sees that she was winning.

“Kobra, you fucking idiot!” Kobra gapes at him, hands flying to the Girl’s ears.

“What did _I_ do?”

“Ghoul just told me that you went into Battery City! AND you brought the Girl with you?! What were you thinking?!”

“I didn’t know she was with me until I got there. And I couldn’t just leave her there. I’m sorry!” Kobra said, eyes pleading.

“Why were you even there in the first place?!” Poison drummed his fingers against his arm, jaw clenched.

“I can’t tell you,” Kobra answered, eyes pinned to the ground.

“Bullshit! Tell me **NOW**!”

“ I can’t!” Kobra leapt to his feet.

“Kobra, I swear to DESTROYA I will sacrifice you to the Phoenix Witch if you don’t tell me.”

“I don’t fucking care, Poison.“ Kobra stands in front of Poison in an attempt to intimidate him, but even the few inches he has on Poison doesn’t seem to do anything. "If I told you, you would just be even more upset.”

“Try me.”

“I was going to find Korse, and kill him.” Poison’s eyes go wide.

“What the fuck, Kobra?! Are you serious?” Kobra nods. “You realize you don’t have a chance by yourself?”

Kobra flipped him off. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I can’t believe you actually fucking did this. You weren’t followed by any Dracs, were you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“You don’t _**THINK**_ so?! You’d better KNOW so, or so help me I will dust you with my own raygun.”

“Chill the hell out. Everyone is safe. I’m not THAT big of an idiot.”

“But aren’t you?”

“Shit, bro, if it makes you feel better, I’ll take a patrol around the area.”

“You aren’t going ANYWHERE. I’m getting Jet to take a patrol.”

Poison glared at Kobra one last time and headed outside to find Jet Star.

“Jet, I’m going to need you to take a patrol. Right now.”

“Is everything okay?” Jet asked, concerned.

“Look, as much as I love my brother, we all know he’s an IDIOT.” Poison explained the situation as calmly as he could. “I need you to take a patrol. Now.”

“Okay,” Jet seemed to understand the importance of the task. “You can count on me.”

“Thanks.”

Jet took off for his patrol, and Poison felt a bit better. Maybe he was just being paranoid. There was probably nothing wrong. But then again, what if there was?

An hour passed, and no sign of Jet. Poison was starting to get worried. What was taking him so long? Patrols only took about a half hour at most.

“Ghoul! Kobra! Have you guys seen Jet?”

They both shook their heads. “Not for the past hour,” Ghoul said. “Is he not back yet?”

"No, he isn’t.” Poison drummed his fingers against his arm.

“Maybe we should go look for him,” Ghoul suggested.

“I’m starting to think we should,” Poison replied. “Kobra, you’re coming too. Tell Cherri Cola to keep an eye on the Girl.”

“Got it, Boss!” Kobra said. Poison rolls his eyes. Kobra’s only saying that to get on his good side again.

They piled into the car and sped off around the patrol route. They had gone about three-quarters of the way around when they heard a commotion.

“How’s that taste, bastards?!” It was Jet.

“Oh shit,” Kobra said.

“Kobra, I’m gonna kill you.” Poison was already out of the car, quickly followed by the others.

“'Bout time you motherfuckers got here!” Jet said. “Looks like there was a problem after all.” He glared at Kobra.

“Fuck off, man. I know I messed up.” Kobra did not sound happy.

“Guys! It’s cool that yall wanna be mad at Kobra, but Dracs!! Trying to kill us!” Ghoul interjected.

The four of them engaged in the battle, each in their own way. Kobra liked to do some martial arts on the Dracs before he killed them, just for fun. Poison preferred shooting from a good distance.

All of a sudden they heard a loud _**hisssss** _and someone yelled “Fuck!” It was Jet. He had just been hit by a raygun wielded by one of the Draculoids. 

“Yo, Jet you okay man?” Ghoul called to him.

“Does it look like I’m okay?!” Jet growled through his teeth.

“Well you don’t have to be such a bitch about it,” Ghoul muttered under his breath.

“Someone get Pony! They can help get Jet back to the diner!” Poison shouted.

“I vote Kobra goes,” Jet said. “He got us into this mess.”

“Damn Jet, I said I’m sorry!” Kobra said.

“You’d better go now!” Ghoul said. “This wound looks bad.”

Kobra ran back to the radio station to find Show Pony. He left the others the car, in case they needed to make a quick getaway.

After running for what felt like hours, he reached his destination and burst, panting, through the station’s door.

“Kobra, what’s wrong?!” Show Pony asked.

“Jet- patrol- injured- help!” Kobra sputtered.

“I’m on it!” Show Pony said.

The two of them hurried back to the scene, Kobra nearly fainting from exertion. Jet was nowhere to be seen.

“Poison, where did Jet go?” Show Pony shouted towards the otherwise engaged leader.

“Hell if I know!”Poison replied, while furiously ripping the mask off of a dead Draculoid. It was a poor bastard he didn’t recognize.

Pony ran towards a nearby sand dune, hoping to find Jet. To their delight, there was Jet, looking up at them.

“Pony. You came,” Jet whispered breathlessly.

“Damn straight I did,” Pony responded, with a wry smile on their face. “Now, what seems to be the problem?”

“I got shot in the leg,” Jet answered, gritting his teeth in pain.

“Damn, that looks bad. You might need to sit out of this battle while I take you to Dr. D,” Pony said as they wrapped the leg in bandages.

“Shit! That hurts!” Jet yelled.

“Shush!” Pony said hurriedly. “Do you **_want_** the Dracs to hear?”

“No.”

“Then shut the fuck up!”

Jet conceded, allowing Pony to finish wrapping his leg and pick him up. Pony ran as fast as they could while carrying him, all the way back to the radio station.

“Dr. D!” Pony shouted at the operator, who was taken aback by the scene he saw before him.

"What's going on?" The baffled man asked.

"Jet's been injured by a Drac's raygun," Pony explained, willing the conversation to move faster.

"Get him over to this table then," Dr. D gestured to the piece of furniture.

Pony brought Jet carefully over to the table, where he lay down...


End file.
